Will Men Ever Be Able to Come Out of the Bisexual Closet?
In the porn industry, several men that I know do not disclose their bisexuality to employers, nor do they do bisexual porn, for fear of being discriminated against or losing jobs. One such porn star (who wished to remain anonymous), said that several female co-stars would not appear with him on screen due to that fact.
The more time I spend writing about sex, more and more of my male friends and acquaintances have brought up this topic as a source of frustration. While many seem to be comfortable with experimenting sexually, they feel they can only do so as long as no one else knows about it. A friend of mine and fan of the swinger site Lifestyle Lounge, checked bi-comfortable on his profile and then received several hateful responses via chat, saying bi men were not welcome in the swinger community. He changed his status back to straight, in order to avoid further aggressive behavior.
Bisexuality is often seen as a cop-out, a phase, or an all-out denial from people on every side of the sexual spectrum. Again, these are all fear-based reactions to a subject that makes people extremely uncomfortable. If you are a man, you are encouraged to have a lot of sexual partners, but you are never encouraged to be sexual with other men.
Straight men are barely even allowed to be on the receiving end of anal sex with women because it’s seen as gay behavior. Never mind that a lot of men happen to enjoy anal stimulation. If society says you like to take it up the ass, then you must be gay. This is the kind of thinking that leads to self-hatred and feeds outdated gender stereotypes. Even in my enlightened sex-positive community, men are very uneasy even broaching this subject.
On a personal level, I think it’s hot when a man is sexual with other men. In the handful of times I’ve jerked off to porn, it was always the guy-on-guy variety. I also enjoy having threesomes or foursomes with men who interact with one another and then with me. But, I am not all women, and some women can’t handle it because according to the stereotype, it is just a matter of time before the bi guy discovers he is gay and leaves her.