Interesting Article About South Asian Gay Men In The Star

Although, I write a lot about the struggles gay black men endure South Asian men also encounter similar battles with oppression. Black gay men in North America, we are visible in popular culture. I feel that the  images and representations of black gay men in the media are very stereotypical. South Asian men I  noticed are consistently ignored not just by the mainstream but also by North American gay communities.

I  read an article on the Toronto Star website, about South Asian gay men. I like the fact the article isn’t pessimistic or negative. The article is about hope,it is about South Asian gay men that desire to connect with other men of their own culture.

I started to think about a close friend of mine, he was born in India, and he is a Canadian citizen. I think he’s lonely sometimes and that he wants to connect with other South Asian gay men. I am black and I don’t speak Hindi, Urdu, Punjabi, or other Indo European languages. I feel at times that maybe I am too foreign for my friend? Maybe I am in the way?

I want my friend to have a connection with other South Asian gay men because I really believe it could boost his self esteem. My friend,is shy reserved kind of a person he isn’t outspoken like me. I’ve talked to him about attending various events and groups for South Asian gay men in the Toronto area but he seems indifferent to them. Perhaps he is still shy I don’t know? I am going to ask him about this.

However, he is not out to his family and he also being surreptitiously pressured to marry a woman by his father. I don’t know what that feels like because my parents know I’m gay. I certainly never have been pressured to date the opposite sex because I’m gay and I’m not sexually attracted to women.

Okay, maybe I should take that back. I do have a serious crush on Gabrielle Union!!! If you’ve read my blog you could tell LOL! I also have to admit I find the Williams Sisters to be sexy, and I do think Sanaa Lathan and Kerry Washington are just very sexy and gorgeous! So I cannot say I am totally not attracted to women. But that’s not the purpose of this blog entry so let me get back on track.

My friend, he is comfortable with his sexual orientation and his Indian identity. He  tells me that Indian culture is very patriarchal the man is the breadwinner and the male has to follow the status quo. Being gay and from South Asia is still considered socially unacceptable. I began thinking that in popular culture South Asian men have also been treated as though they are invisible by the gay community and by mainstream society. I think it is great that the Toronto Star article is raising awareness about the lives of South Asian gay men.

I  agree with the sentiments of the South Asian men in the Toronto Star article, North American gay culture is very “cold” it is true. I mean let me be blunt, Toronto doesn’t just have cold weather the men are cold too people are soulless here. Its the reason I rarely go the gay bars in Toronto. I mean why bother?



About orvillelloyddouglas

I am a gay black Canadian male.

4 responses to “Interesting Article About South Asian Gay Men In The Star”

  1. Bink says :

    I can’t understand how your friend feels about being pressured into marrying someone not of his choice. However, please urge him not to succumb and mess up the life of another person. It will be hard to stand up to his parents and tell them that he is not ready to marry and to advise them that his love life will be guided by his own choices. He should understand there is a bigger picture, the life of the person. How would he feel if he “married” a man that was a heterosexual and only pretended to be homosexual? This is a far stretch yet the bottom line is the same.

    He must be strong. His life is his life.

  2. orvillelloyddouglas says :

    I don’t think my friend will marry a woman but he is indeed being pressured by his parents to marry a woman. The pressure doesn’t occur every single day but the pressure is there.
    Well remember in Indian culture the man is the patriarch there are customs and traditions. My friend is also the only male child in his family so that’s even additional added pressure.

  3. j. Sebastian says :

    In the Muslim countries, a gay man is compelled to marry a women,since it is the family honour,that will be at stake, if it is known outside that a guy in their family is gay. So they cover it up, and choose a bride for him and get him married. poor girl,and poor guy too.

  4. orvillelloyddouglas says :

    My friend is South Asian but he’s not Muslim he’s Hindu and Sikh. Although I do see your point about family honor. It is true according to my friend the honor of the family is very important. I think it is sad so many South Asian men live a double life which is a lie just so their families can be happy. You are right, the poor woman being married to an Indian homosexual that`s tragic.

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